The Day I Outsmugged Wal-Mart

I don't know who that is in the picture, I stole it from Flickr. It sorta relates to my story.

I had been running errands with the girls yesterday, and we were at Wal-Mart entering the checkout line. I was buying one of those little lunchbox/cooler thingies. Being a veteran of Wal- Mart service, I knew the cashiers were supposed to look inside luggage, purses, coolers, and anything else that could hide another item. They've got a couple of little cool code words. LISA should remind them to 'Look InSide Always', and BOB should remind them to check the 'Bottom Of the Basket' Being the good customer that I am, I unzipped the cooler to save the cashier some time. She was scanning my items just fine, scanned my cooler and kept on going. A few more items went by, and the CSM, the one in the red vest came over to talk to my cashier, Marilyn. Here's how that went....

CSM: (Smugly) Marilyn, I wanted to remind you to use LISA.
Marilyn: (Stops scanning to discuss with CSM) Huh? What's that?
CSM: I know you didn't just say that.
Marilyn: I don't know what you're talking about.
Me: (Probably more smugly) Look inside always. She wants you to look inside my cooler to make sure I'm not stealing anything. But don't worry, I already unzipped it before I put it on the belt.
CSM, now irritated, walks away
Marilyn: Thanks, I didn't know to do that.

I guess I showed them. It's not every day, that you spend $110 on items that aren't over $8 and get to walk away with a little bit of pride.

Gibbs Girls

I said I'd try to get a recent picture of the giirls up here, and here it is. They're with me tonight, and they got their shirts from the race. They're all fairly pleased, and I'm happy that everything fits. Maggie would've liked something that said FedEx, but I was trying to keep it somewhat girly. The other 2 are ok with lots of graphics. Grace also wanted me to take a picture of the back of her shirt. This is how it came out....we'll probably use it when she's trying to get that job at the Skoal or Crown Royal tent.

Sweep Home Chicago

See what I did there? There's a song called "Sweet Home Chicago", and I changed it to 'Sweep'. Pretty clever, I know. Kyle Busch won on Friday.....and again on Saturday.

I've been gone all day working at both Y's, then went to my gym to do a little sweatin' of my own. Today was leg day, which gets more rewarding each time. I did my warmup and went to the weights with about 160 laps to go. A few squats, leg presses, and some abductions and adductions later, I was on the stair climber. For whatever reason, I sweat like a stuck hog tonight. I've never been an overly sweaty person when it comes to workin' out, but I had a nice little puddle on the machine when it was all said and done. Like a good boy, I clean up after myself. There was still a good bit of the race to go when I got off the climber, so I knocked out 25 minutes of walking on the treadmill. Kyle got passed with about 20 to go and took the lead back on a restart with 2 to go. It was a nice win except he got a little cutesy driving his car into the infield for donuts. He must've forgotten about all the rain we go today as his crew had to come push his car out of the mud. Anyway; long day, good day, productive day, good end.

If you're hear hoping to catch a glimpse of my young-uns, I haven't done a very good job of photographing them this summer. I'll do better and get something up soon.

Is This (Redneck) Heaven?

Here's the rundown from the Nationwide race. After stopping at the gas station for an unsuccessful attempt at finding a ticket (evidently I didn't tap my feet enough times in the bathroom stall), I pulled into the parking lot about 4 PM. Keep in mind, when you're parking the cars of 80,000 people on a 500 acre field, a parking lot becomes a parking spree rather quickly, but more on that later.

I got out and headed for the souvenir trailers and other trackside displays. It wasn't long before I ran into a guy trying to sell tickets. He had one he could sell, and he wanted $60 for it. I told him I'd find one later and ended up getting it for $40. I probably could've gotten it for $30, but didn't have a 20 and 10 and didn't want to ask for change. This is my second time being at one of these events, and it's always a great place for people watching. I did see some middle-eastern folks who looked strangely out of place. Anyway, there's a huge paddock area with all kinds of sponsor displays and free giveaways. It's nice to go through the trailers because they're air conditioned. Who knew the travelling Abraham Lincoln library would've been such a hit among the NASCAR faithful? I got to the US Border Patrol, they sponsor a car in the Nationwide Series, display and found Kenny Wallace signing autographs. I didn't really know too much about Kenny until I started watching him this year on Speed with Jimmy Spencer. The line was short, so I got in line for an autograph. He seems to be a nice guy, as I'm sure they all do. I found the souvenir trailers and did some shopping for the girls...and me. Tony hasn't had too much success this year, and we've taken to cheering for his teammates as well. Nora has demanded that she have a Tony Stewart shirt, while Maggie volunteered for Denny Hamlin's FedEx and Grace took Kyle Busch and the M&M's car. I was pleased to see people at Kyle's trailer despite all the boos he's heard lately. I made a couple of loops and picked out what I would get for them. $100 later, we all had new t-shirts.

A friend of mine recommended I rent a scanner, so for another $30, I got a scanner and some nice noise-cancelling headphones. The thing was pre-programmed with all the drivers' channels. You could listen to your favorite driver, the radio or TV broadcasts, or let it scan all the channels. I went back to the car, dropped off the shirts, grabbed another bottle of water. By this point, I could feel my face starting to burn, so I put on my Cubs hat and headed back toward the gate. I ran into several other Cubs fans along the way, so we had to stop and talk about that day's Cubs victory, the Rich Harden trade, and anything else that popped up.

I stopped by the Miller Lite pit stop on the way back. They had a live band and refreshments. That's where I saw this guy. I call this little video "Hope for the Rest of Us". Take a look, and you'll see why. Another thing I noticed while in that paddock. The sexy companies like Jack Daniels, Crown Royal, Skoal, Best Buy, etc, have the best looking "Marketing Assistants". The ladies handing out free samples of Tums just didn't quite measure up in terms of physical beauty. As marketing prowess goes, I'm sure they were every bit as, if not more than, capable than the others.

I got in the gate, located my section, and began the trek to my seat. You see, at these things, higher up is better because you can see more. My seat was in row 55. It was a 55 step climb to the second level, then another 30 or 40 steps up to row 55. There was a good crowd, and we settled in for a nice evening. Our section was already in the shade; and after the sun went down, it got even more comfortable. To my left, there was a mother at the race with her young daughter. To my right, there were 2 couples who, from their expressionless faces and sunburned bodies had been enjoying the festivities all day. The race got started, and it was quite impressive. The cars really did make quite a commotion on their way to get the green. The race itself wasn't that exciting. Reutimann drove out to a big lead, but his car went away when the sun went down. Tony was on the front row but missed a shift on the start. He had the fastest car in the field at one point but never did much with it. Kyle Busch took the lead on lap 94 and didn't give it back except during the round of green flag pit stops around 50 to go. On lap 177, I heard Busch's spotter tell him that his lead was seven seconds, and the second place car's last lap was 3 tenths of a second slower than Busch's. It was pretty much a blow out. Bush did his burnout, took his bow, and went to victory lane. I filed out with the other 80,000 people, turned in my scanner, and went out to the parking spree with everyone else. You can read more about that below.

All in all, I had a pretty good time. I saw some stuff I'd never seen before as well as some stuff I hope I never see again. I'm sure I'll go back for more.

Nothing But Taillights

One weekend each year, NASCAR brings its travelling soap opera to Chicagoland. Last year, I came out on a Saturday afternoon, went to the souvenir trailers and displays, then went back home. This year, the races are at night, so I left work a little early, OK alot early, and came out to the Friday night Nationwide Series race. It's been over for about 90 minutes, and I've been back at my car for about an hour. I just don't see the point in getting in and starting it up right now. I just happened to have my camera, laptop, and air card, so I thought I'd blog a little. There's a group off to my left with one of those big conversion vans. They've gotten their lawn chairs back out, and I think they've got their grill going again. The group over my left shoulder is tossing bean bags while listening to Garth Brooks and George Strait. I've heard both "Rodeo" and "Amarillo by Mornin'". There's a group off to my right drinking beer and talking to the people waiting in line to get out. I've heard "I Wanna Be Sedated" and Kid Rock's "All Summer Long". It's a takeoff on Skynyrd's Sweet Home Alabama, but it's catchy. I've got more pics and a little video to post, but that will have to wait for some more bandwidth.

I've never done something so geeky as post live from the middle of a 500 acre field, but there's a first time for everything. Here's a little pic of my laptop, tilted b/c it's on the hood of my car, with the track behind it. BTW, a couple, like a man and woman, just got out of a Dodge Durango whose rear bumper is all of 5 feet from my elbow. The windows are steamy, and I had no idea they were in there. Man, I really love this computer.

July 4th Weekend Commentaries

If that doesn't make you feel all patriotic on the inside, I don't know what will. That's a clip of my friend Byron and me playing before the Graves County Democrats' Breakfast in August of 1992. My dad sent me home with a bunch of videos from high school, and I've been having a hoot watching them. Some have suggested I buy a DVD recorder and transfer them over. I took the redneck way out and just recorded the television with my digital camera. It's not fancy, but it suits my purpose. I thought we did OK for some high school kids. Having gotten out and heard more people since then, I have only one suggestion for us.....more air (and that's primarily for me). Having not tooted a horn for some 14+ years now, I can honestly say that I miss it. I miss the camaraderie. I miss practicing a piece of music and then performing it with people you enjoy being around. There's a line in the 2002 Charles Stone III classic, Drumline, that always resonates with me. It's near the end, they're getting ready to take the field, and Dr. Lee tells them to enjoy playing with their bandmates. I may be a little sissified, but that always gives me a little chill.

On the topic of music....I did hear a little over the holiday weekend. The Naperville Municipal Band had their patriotic concert on Thursday night. Before they played, there was a ladies' trio from the USO who sang "Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree", "Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy", and "Chattanooga Choo-Choo" before the concert. The instrumental portion of the concert was the usual stuff. The service medley always give me chills. The Marines who stand for the "Marine Hymn" are always so stoic and look like they could "...pick up a weapon and stand a post." while the Navy guys appear to be in for more of a swash-buckling good time as they stand and clap along with Anchors Aweigh. Unlike years past, there was even a Coastie there to represent for the Coast Guard song/hymn/anthem/diddy. The band played a piece called "The Blue and Gray". It featured all the popular music from the Civil War era. I had no idea that "Aura Lee" and "Yellow Rose of Texas" were big in the 1860's, but you learn something new every day. The piece closed with Battle Hymn, and the climax was when a blue guy walked across the stage to meet a gray guy walking from the other side. They saluted, shook hands, and hugged before retreating to their origins. As cheesy, and historically inaccurate, as it sounds, I kinda liked it. Everyone else did too as there was great applause. The Civil War soldiers also brought along their mounted cannons to play along with the 1812 Overture. That piece is forever long, and I'm glad I had my Readers' Digest (what am I, like 65?) to get me through to the good stuff. The band closed with "Stars and Stripes Forever". It's quite possibly my favorite march that I never got the chance (read not good enough) to play. The piccolos took it up a notch and really played well during the obbligato. That reminds me, what's the difference between a piccolo and a chainsaw? You can tune a chainsaw.

Other musical events include watching Pops Goes the Fourth on CBS. I liked it alot better when PBS showed the whole concert. CBS had too much Rascal Flatts for my liking, but they did manage to get in the patriotic sing along and S&S4E. The piccolos are quite solid. I also caught a replay of a Capitol Fourth. While we're on the subject, they didn't have a piccolo player on S&S4E, they used a marimba, and I thought it was way cool. Finally, there was a bari-sax player with the band at church on Sunday. I thought he was too loud.

That's all for me.

In a Funk

That's George Clinton, and he performs a little funk. Get it?

I've been in a funk here lately. It's been 6 weeks since I've posted anything. I've had a few things here and there along the way, but how do I post a random little nugget without acknowledging my absence? So, that's what's kept me away. I may post a little more often, I may not. Anyway, who cares, it's my game, and I can take my ball and go home anytime.

Summer is here. Nora has camp on Wednesday afternoons. I still work from home on those days and drop her off and pick her up at camp. Now that my afternoons are free, I've kinda been hanging out with the dance teacher I mentioned earlier. We have nice times together, but the getting together and all the other BS that goes with it has about turned me off to the whole thing. Trying to date sucks.

The Cubs are still hot and have the best record in baseball despite their fair share of injuries. I hadn't recorded any games until last Friday. I recorded the Cubs-Sox game in which the Cubs hit 2 homers in the 7th to tie it up at 3, and Aramis hit his second of the game to win it 4-3 in the ninth. Maybe the DVR jinx is over. I haven't been to any Cubs games in awhile. The $20 tickets we were getting before school was out and summer was here are now $60. That's a little more than I'm willing/able to pay on any kind of regular basis. My co-worker won some tickets in a raffle held after the blood drive. She hates baseball and let me make her a list of good dates. She wound up with 4 tickets for the Cubs-Cardinals on 8/8. She hasn't decided what to do with them yet, but I think I'm going to end up with at least 2 of them in some kind of deal we're going to make.

Kyle Busch is still hot, and he's leading the Chase standings. He's been kinda entertaining to watch.

The girls are at some kind of camp most every day. It always amazes me to see the transformation they undergo during the summer. Their hair gets lighter, skin darker, and they get skinnier. It's amazing what running around outside all day can do. It's too bad no one will pay me to do that....I'd probably find a way to sluff it off if they did. As far as weight goes, I've got a buddy at the Y that made me up a little program that I've been following. I've dropped about 6 pounds in the last 10 days on top of the other 20 I'd already lost. Don't worry, I'm not wasting away to nothing. I'm right where I was last year about this time.

I'm going to the un-Commonwealth of Kentucky for a whirlwind visit tomorrow. I'm headed down in the morning, having some work done on my car (reliable shadetree mechanic who works for cash), seeing friends, visiting my grandma, and whatever else comes up. I'm at home again today, so I'll be doing some cleaning as it's always nice to come home to a clean place. I'm also gonna throw out a bunch of stuff, and put some more on eBay......either that or sit on the couch and watch TV.....I haven't decided yet. Life is full of difficult decisions.